Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Not too Pushy, Not Too Passive:
Choosing a Good Next Step When Networking


by Lynne Waymon co-author of Strategic Connections:
The New Face of Networking in a Collaborative World
(AMACOM, January 2015)


In our training programs, participants bring up worries about how to follow up and build relationships for long-term benefit.  They say:  “I’m afraid I’ll ask for too much too soon?”  And at the other end of the spectrum they worry, “Maybe I’m missing an opportunity if I don’t reconnect right away.”  

The answer lies in knowing how to assess the stage of trust you’ve earned with each of your important contacts.  There are appropriate – and inappropriate – things to do and say at each stage of the relationship-building process.

Take James, for instance.  He wants to move from his job in Personnel to Talent Development, so he needs to become known to people in TD.   He’s met a few people in that department, but wonders, “What’s a good next step for showing them my character and competence?  What can I do and say that will make them think of me when there’s an opening?” 

Here’s what we recommend to James – and anyone else who’s identified someone they’d like to have more of a relationship with.  Thinking of the person you’d like to start or rev up a relationship with, answer these 15 questions.  If you’re unsure of the answer to the question, then the answer is “no.”

Rate Your Relationships Quiz

Does my contact:

  • Demonstrate knowing my face and my name by coming up to me, saying hello, and introducing me accurately to others? 
  • Know me well enough to recognize me “out of context” in a new setting? 
  • Know several ways to contact me?
  • Recognize my name instantly when I call?
  • In conversation, explore commonalities and needs?
  • Accurately describe what I do?
  • Give vivid examples of what I do?
  • Know that I am good at what I do and can cite reasons why my work is superior?
  • Know of some independent verification of my expertise – an award, certification, third-party endorsement?
  • Respond quickly to requests from me?
  • Regularly send me valuable information and resources?
  • Know what kinds of people can use my expertise and is on the lookout for them?
  • Always speak well of me to others and pass my name along?
  • Tell me the truth, keep confidences, and have my best interests at heart?
  • Bring me into all areas of his/her life over a long period of time?

Use your answers to guide you to a good next step.  When did you begin to answer “No?”  Noticing that will help you decide what you want to be sure to tell – and ask – the next time you see this person.   For instance James noticed that Jeff, in Talent Development probably didn’t know that James had recently completed his Masters in Training and Development (Question #9).  So he decided the next time they were together at an interdepartmental meeting, he’d try to weave that into the conversation as a way to teach Jeff more about his character and competence.

As an intentional networker, you’ll be aware of what kinds of things you’d like to teach your contacts in each encounter.  These 15 questions highlight our finding that it often takes six or eight contacts with someone before she knows who you are, has learned what you do, and has the evidence she needs to begin to trust you. Once that trust is established, you might be in touch once a week or once a year – depending on your relationship.  You’ll know how to take a professional approach that’s not too pushy and not too passive.


Lynne Waymon is a co-founder and principal at Contacts Count LLC, the international training firm that specializes in teaching business and professional networking skills.  The firm’s clients during the last 25 years range from CPA firms to banks, from engineers to HR professionals, and from attorneys to Fortune 100 companies.
 
Contacts Count’s training programs, keynotes, webinars, and train-the-trainer events help people put the tools of networking to work in the service of business goals.  Their Networking Competency Assessment measures skill in 8 competency areas.  Their new book, Strategic Connections: The New Face of Networking in a Collaborative World (January 2015) is available in bulk from the publisher and by single copy at Amazon.com.

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